Who do I tell? My parents? Sisters? In-laws? What if it doesn't work out? Will people think I'm doing this for accolades? I know, I just won't tell anyone until I'm pregnant. What a good idea. Wrong.
I filled out my first application. I WAS ACCEPTED!!!! Physically, I was perfect for the job. I started filling out Part II of the application; the family profile, the morals and values. One of the questions that really stuck out to me: Who will support you emotionally through this? I can answer that question in my head, no problem, but it got me thinking. That's when I decided I'd tell people. I first told my mom and asked if she would support my decision. Of course she would. If there's one thing my parents have excelled at, it's been supporting us. My friends said they would support me, too. A few of them even told me I could put them down as a reference. Now for the scary part - my in-laws - some of the most wonderful people I know, but they also have a side to them I am not used to...being very blunt with me, asking a lot of questions, and making sure I'm well researched (all admirable traits, just not the norm for me). Well, that's exactly what they did. They asked a lot of questions. They voiced concerns. And they gave me some good references to talk to. And yes, they support me.
I proceeded to fill out Part II of the application. I felt really confident in my answers. I submitted my application and was surprised to hear back within hours. I was even more surprised when I read the content inside of the email:
Dear Kimmie,
Thank you for taking the time to complete your application with our agency.
However, we are unable to proceed with your application at this time. We
take many factors into account when reviewing applications for
surrogacy. We honor the wishes of the surrogate as well as the intended
parents. Most intended parents come to us wanting to make the ultimate
and final decision regarding termination/reduction of a pregnancy
should there be a problem detected. This does not mean they would
terminate for any reason, but that they want the right to choose what
happens in their lives and their pregnancy. Unfortunately, we do not
have any intended parents that share your views on
termination/reduction. I am very sorry.
Should you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact us.
Best wishes to you and your family.
Warm Regards,
Surrogate Mother Coordinator
...until next time
IARC does a great job of pairing you up with people who have the same beliefs in that area. My sister was against selective reduction and has had 3 surro babies with IP's that felt the same way:)
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